Challenge from GOD :'( its tough

Day 4 for argue, non-stop, no skip for one day. everyday also argue. also because of small matter, maybe for me is small matter, for him maybe is not, maybe i not understand his feeling as well, but i do my best to avoid this happen, but fail T.T

because of aunt, we argue. because of friends, we argue. what is the problem now? God, did YOU hear me? are YOU giving me the challenge now before i meet him? why when get near to the date, the challenge more and more now? why are YOU so hardworking to think of the challenge for me? thank YOU so much, i'm not scare, but it's just hurt. i'm nothing when face it, just scare, scare it break our relationship, scare he can't stand for it, can YOU please take care of us? Even i'm tough, but i do will tired if everyday YOU give me the same problem all the days. Please YOU so much.

My dear, did you know? i do tell T.T every time argue, please do not cold to me, do not ignore me, that's feeling seem like die. i not yet die, how i know that die feeling? i don't know how to describe that feeling, it's just seem like lead me to die. I'm sorry, i'm stupid, i know you testing me just now, at last, i fail, i said it out T.T it so much regret, but no turn back. i don't know how, just the same, time to face it without you. don't know what to say, just felt want cry. haiz

FML :'(